RELIT – How to Rekindle Yourself in the Darkness of Compassion Fatigue

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About Relit

Compassion fatigue is one of the most pervasive and least discussed traumas that nearly every caregiver feels at one time or another. Millions of people choose a helper profession (everything from nurse to lawyer to therapist to veterinarian) because they care deeply and feel called to service. Millions more are thrust into unpaid caregiving roles due to illness, injury, or the natural course of aging.

Nearly everyone in a heart-based role has experienced some sort of compassion fatigue or burnout. And nearly everyone feels guilt and shame for their fatigue. They are caregivers; shouldn’t they be unstoppable and invincible?

This book brings together experts from across a wide variety of professions, backgrounds, and cultures to tell their stories of experiencing compassion fatigue and to give practical, useful, actionable advice and solutions on how to build personal resilience, how to avoid compassion fatigue, and how to rekindle your own spirit when compassion fatigue and burnout drag you down into the darkness.


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Praise for RELIT


Table of Contents and chapter summaries

Introduction: A Beacon of Hope When Darkness Falls

Your Future is Far More Beautiful than You Could Ever Imagine
Allison K. Wyman, JD, MPA
In her early 20s, Allison was a caregiver for both her father, who died of cancer, and her mother, now a cancer survivor. Her chapter is an inspiring story of connecting to her personal values and how not to lose yourself in caregiving.

When Professional and Personal Collide
Margaret Stauffer, MS, LMFT
Margaret, a recently retired program director at a cancer support nonprofit, writes of both her personal experience as a family caregiver and her professional experience as a supporter of both cancer patients and their caregivers.

How to Strengthen Your Compassionate Self
Larry Brouder
A leader in corporate relocation and immigration, Larry writes about overcoming depression as a teenager and now being in a service role for people who are in a constant state of anxiety and stress due to situations outside their control.

Love is Never Wasted
Faith Albright, DVM
Faith remade her life and career after hitting deep burnout due to the veterinary profession and abusive personal relationships. She now runs an animal sanctuary and has an in-home pet euthanasia practice. She writes about attitude, mindset, and feelings about death.

Rising Above: A Journey of Loss, Resilience, and the Fight for Equity and Justice
Jean Accius, Ph.D.
This chapter is both a personal story of loss during the pandemic, and a professional perspective on systemic inequities. Jean focuses on self-regulation, self-care, and personal pacing as ways to manage burnout.

Supporting a Loved One With Mental Health Challenges
Sally Spencer-Thomas, PsyD
A renowned expert and speaker on suicide prevention, Sally provides a more clinical approach to compassion fatigue and burnout, noting its causes and mitigation techniques. She illustrates these through her moving, personal story of losing her brother to suicide and caregiving a friend through addiction.

From Duty to Choice: Navigating Cultural Expectations
Richa Chadha, MBA, MS
Born in India and moved to the US as an adult, Richa writes of the unrealistic and imbalanced cultural expectations on women, illustrated by her personal experience and her learnings as a professional coach.

When She is Gone, We Will Still be a Family
Antoinette LeCouteur
Thrust into caregiving for her aging mother, Antoinette tells how focusing on the future helped her take her own ego out of caregiving and forge stronger bonds with her sisters that will last long beyond the inevitable death of her mother.

The Truth from a Bedside Nurse
Tammy Hurst, RN, MSN, NC-BC
With a 20-year career in labor and delivery, Tammy tells of how oppressive the medical industry can be, and how hard it has been to overcome compassion fatigue on the front lines of patient care.

Show up. Try hard. Be nice.
Peter Dudley, PCC
As a professional coach, Peter writes about self-regulation, personal resilience, and how to “show up, try hard, and be nice” even when life is overwhelming. He illustrates this through personal experience contrasted to his clients’ stories.

Recreation Therapy & Me: Compassion Fatigue In Elder Care
Jill Louise Léger
A credentialed geriatric recreation therapist, Jill not only tells of her successes and challenges in elder care, but she outlines recreation therapy as a modality, from creating a care plan to engaging patients in their own care.

Nurturing Resilience: Practical Strategies for Organization Change Leaders
Dr. Kenya Oscar Radoli
A former international rugby player and coach, Kenya is now a certified professional coach working with DEI practitioners and organizational culture change leaders. Using his rugby experience, he describes the concepts of the Positive Intelligence framework for professionals to manage their compassion fatigue.

Nature’s Nurture: Nature Connection in Caregiver Well-Being
Laura Plato, MSc
A renowned expert in social impact, Laura tells her personal story of caregiving for her mother, focusing on healing and calming power of nature. She offers practical tips for bringing nature into the care environment.

Embracing Compassion Without Losing Yourself
Nayely Duran, ACC
Nayely moved to the US after growing up in Mexico, and she writes about how her family culture, upbringing, and faith gave her a caregiver mindset, and how she learned to find balance between her sense of obligation and her own self-care.

On Love, Loss, and Recovery from Devastation
Dennis Brozzo, PMP
Dennis tells a moving story of being a caregiver for his wife, who died from terminal cancer. He shares lessons learned, with a focus on “being one of an army, not an army of one” to avoid the psychic numbing that can happen after such profound trauma.

Lessening Compassion Fatigue Through an Empowerment Approach
Catherine Krause, RN, PHN and Jerrald Krause, Ph.D.
Catherine and Jerry took on caregiving for Catherine’s 90-year-old mother. Through that experience, they developed a framework for empowered aging that they have been teaching for many years. They tell their story of Bernie, Catherine’s mother, and explain their empowered aging framework.


Contributors


Dr. Jean Accius, Ph.D.
Dr. Jean Accius is a visionary leader in health equity and systems transformation. As President & CEO of CHC: Creating Healthier Communities, he drives efforts to dismantle barriers to health, empowering communities to thrive. With a deep understanding of cross-sector collaboration, Dr. Accius has developed innovative policies and programs that reveal the economic benefits of addressing disparities. Previously, he served in leadership roles at AARP and the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. His work has earned recognition from Next Avenue, Black Enterprise, and Fast Company, among others. A sought-after speaker and author, Dr. Accius has contributed to discussions at the World Economic Forum and the United Nations. He holds degrees from Florida State University and a Ph.D. from American University.


Faith Albright, DVM
Faith is the founder of One Living Sanctuary, a haven for rescued farm animals in the Bay Area. Having a deep connection with animals all her life, Faith became vegan after visiting her first farm sanctuary at 25 years old, when she dedicated her life to help end animal suffering. Faith began what would be a 20 year journey to begin her own sanctuary by earning a degree in evolution, ecology, and biodiversity from UC Davis, followed by her veterinary degree from the University of Illinois. After working for several years as a shelter vet in San Francisco, Faith realized her dream, and the sanctuary was founded in 2018. She then launched her own business providing home euthanasia services. Outside of work, Faith enjoys culinary arts, meditation, biking, and almost any outdoor activity. She lives with her blind pitbull, Hope, and rescue cats Luna, Nel, Silby, and Edward.

Larry Brouder
For over 28 years, Larry has worked within the Global Employee Mobility industry, creating and managing immigration and benefits, business continuity, and global talent management programs. He has also designed expatriate programs and security and pandemic protocols for the nation’s largest privately held engineering firm, and been a consultant on product and business development, business structure and innovation. He now works for the world’s most advanced EV manufacturer. Larry is a regular speaker at HR industry events on topics including Expatriate and Intercultural Programs, Immigration, Global Security, Immigration, and Pandemic Protocol. He lives in Guilford, CT with his family.


Dennis Brozzo, PMP
Dennis Brozzo is an executive leadership and life coach who spent 25+ years in Big Tech. Starting as a mailroom clerk, he rose through the ranks to positions of global leadership.  After becoming a widower at age 47, he embarked on the second chapter of his life. Through his journey of grief and recovery, Dennis discovered his life’s calling: to help others successfully navigate their own life-changing events. As a coach, he works with individuals who desire transformative growth in both career and personal spaces, supporting them in building fulfilling lives for themselves. When he is not coaching, Dennis can be found enjoying many outdoor activities, as well as playing the saxophone, writing, volunteering for causes near to his heart, and building his own fulfilling life with his new wife. Look for Dennis at vertoC2LLC.com.

Richa Chadha, MBA, MS
Richa is a Mindset Coach, speaker, and organizational psychologist based in the Bay Area, California. With an MBA and a degree in Organizational Dynamics from UPenn, she brings nearly a decade of experience in the banking and finance sector, managing cross-cultural teams. Richa likes to call herself a global citizen; she loves to travel and immerse herself in local cultures. She and her equally adventurous husband have journeyed across six continents and explored more than half of the United States. Inspired by her own experience of re-establishing herself in the U.S. after moving from India, Richa is passionate about continuous learning and personal growth. Through her venture, Coachampion, she helps leaders and teams transform their mindset from “Why me?” to “Watch me rise.” Connect with her at coachampion.com or by email at richa@coachampion.com, and join her mental wellness community on Instagram at @coachampion_richachadha.


Peter Dudley, PCC
Peter is an author and executive coach who tries to make the most of every day. He grew up in Connecticut with summers in Las Vegas, got his electrical engineering degree from UC Berkeley, then went on a long and winding career in startups, nonprofits, and big corporations. Once both his kids were grown, he started Gray Bear Coaching and Gray Bear Publications. Peter has published four novels, two poetry collections, and a chapter book, and his short fiction and professional articles have been published in a wide array of journals and anthologies. He is also the founder of Gray Bear Coaching LLC and Gray Bear Publications. Find him at graybearcoaching.com.


Nayely Duran, ACC
Nayely is a dedicated consultant, trainer and executive leadership coach with over a decade of experience. Having worked with clients across various industries, Nayely brings a wealth of understanding and expertise to every engagement. Passionate about acquiring and sharing knowledge, Nayely takes pride in helping others strengthen their self-leadership, sharpen their skills, acquire tools for self-development, and embrace their inner power. Born in Mexico City and residing in San Francisco since 2009, Nayely combines a rich cultural heritage with a global perspective to deliver impactful and transformative coaching experiences. www.nayelyduran.com


Tammy Hurst, RN, MSN, NC-BC
Tammy, an RN with nearly 30 years of experience, is dedicated to women’s health and well-being. Throughout her career, she has specialized in various aspects of women’s health, from prenatal care to postpartum support. Tammy’s passion for holistic care led her to become a certified Nurse Coach. Tammy’s approach is rooted in addressing life challenges holistically, considering the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of health. She believes in empowering women to take charge of their own well-being through personalized guidance and support. Her work has been transformative for her clients, helping them achieve greater health, fulfillment, and resilience. Tammy is also a dedicated mother and wife and an advocate for self-care and work-life balance, with a strong belief that in order to achieve this women need to make themselves their priority.


Catherine Krause, RN, PHN
Catherine Krause is a speaker, writer and consultant on management and organizational planning. Formerly a Regional Vice President for Community Health for a major health corporation and director of a multi-service home health organization, she has over 30 years’ experience and is an expert in management and leadership development. She also worked for two years for Golden Living Centers as a Clinical Liaison and five years as a consultant and owner with Shamana Consulting, Inc.  Along with four partners, Catherine also created the Wellness Center in Eureka, where clients could incorporate holistic medical inventions to improve health. Catherine has collaboratively developed and presented with Jerry Krause a four-week series of workshops on EMPOWERED AGING.  In these workshops, Catherine shares a holistic model on how to stay empowered while one ages.  These workshops help attendees with new ideas on how to support oneself and others as we make difficult decisions that emerge during the aging process.


Jerrald D. Krause, Ph.D.
Jerry Krause fell in love with sociology as a sociology major at UC Berkeley. After five years of teaching and studying in south Louisiana, Jerry returned with Catherine and their growing family to their native California, where Jerry joined the faculty of Humboldt State University. Jerry taught and conducted research there for 34 years. He then taught Aging and Society at Sonoma State University from 2013 to 2019. In order to develop a model for doing empowerment oriented team research, he co-founded and directed the Center for Applied Social Analysis and Education (CASAE) and served as its Director from 1991 until 2005. Before retirement, Jerry worked through CASAE to develop a symbolic interactionist framework for linking theory and research to empowering sociological practice that he calls translational sociology. Since retirement, Jerry’s empowerment work has been outside the academy such as with Catherine and Shamana.


Antoinette LeCouteur
Antoinette is an author, publisher, philanthropy advisor, and caregiver who is driven to help people do good in the world. A theatre major in college and actor early in her career, she transitioned to the world of philanthropy and social impact in the mid-2000s and has helped get hundreds of millions of dollars in employee donations and corporate funds to charities all over the world. Her photography, which can be seen in the books Together and Twist, captures reality as it happens, documenting the unstaged world in its most authentic state, showing unique moments from new angles. She is part of the Gray Bear Publications leadership team. Contact her at antoinette@graybearpublications.com or on Instagram at @sf_antoinette.


Jill Louise Léger
Jill Louise Léger is passionate about the welfare of older adults. She is a credentialed geriatric recreational therapist with over 25 years’ experience working and volunteering in long-term care and retirement homes. In 2015, she created The Sunflower Channel, a YouTube hub for short, original videos, each calibrated to meet seniors’ physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual needs both at home and in care facilities. In a past life, Jill was a television producer and researcher, having earned her master’s degree in journalism from New York University. An Emmy-nominated researcher, she associate-produced a series for C-SPAN that won a Peabody Award. She served as Head Research Consultant for National Geographic Kids from 2002 to 2008. Follow her Substack, Bumpy Night, at jill416.substack.com.


Laura Plato, MSc
Laura is CEO of The New Frequency, where she guides founders to the top 1% in the personal brand economy. She is a 2X professional certified life and well-being coach, a 5X CxO social impact technology executive, and a successful entrepreneur working at the intersection of social good and innovation. A nationally published author, speaker, and advisor, she has been featured on NBC, NPR, and CNN and in dozens of other media, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Good Housekeeping. She is a member of the Forbes Coaches Council. She served as Chair of the South Carolina Institutes of Innovation and Information Foundation, COO at SkysTheLimit.org, Chief Solutions Officer at VolunteerMatch.org, and COO at Causecast. She received her BA with Honors in English from Scripps College and holds an MSc in Criminal Justice Policy from The London School of Economics. She is a family caregiver.


Dr. Kenya Oscar Radoli
Dr. Kenya Oscar Radoli, founder of KOR Navigation Consulting and Coaching, is a visionary leader with over two decades of experience in business innovation and digital transformation. He manages multimillion-dollar projects, nurtures talent, and fosters diverse, innovative cultures. His leadership consistently elevates project and portfolio management standards, bridging gaps between diverse constituencies and exceeding expectations. Throughout his career, Dr. Radoli has turned ideas into action, seized opportunities, and designed innovative solutions that enhance operations, talent, revenues, and profits. His passion for developing high-performing leaders and staff on complex projects has driven his success. Dr. Radoli’s international experience positions him as a strategic partner for C-suite leaders seeking to develop inclusive organizational cultures and public-private partnerships (PPPs) in the U.S. and Africa. He sits on the University of Pennsylvania Nonprofit Leadership Alumni Board. He holds degrees from Clarion University of Pennsylvania, University of Pennsylvania, and a Doctorate from the University of Pittsburgh.

Sally Spencer-Thomas, Psy.D.
Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas is a clinical psychologist and renowned mental health advocate, driven by personal experience after losing her brother to suicide. Her mission is to amplify the voices of those who have faced mental health challenges, including addiction and trauma, empowering individuals in despair to rediscover their passion for life. Sally focuses on equipping leaders and communities with innovative, sustainable strategies for mental health promotion, addiction recovery, and suicide prevention. She is the lead author of the National Guidelines for Workplace Suicide Prevention and has played significant roles in multiple influential organizations. Sally has delivered a TEDx talk and addressed audiences at the White House. Her global impact spans numerous countries, collaborating with major organizations and initiatives like “Man Therapy” and the Guts, Grit & the Grind book series, aimed at supporting men in navigating life’s challenges.
www.SallySpencerThomas.com


Margaret Stauffer, MS, LMFT
Margaret is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 40 years of experience working with individuals and families around health-related challenges and trauma. A native Californian, she grew up in rural Napa County and has lived throughout the State. Margaret enjoyed a 30 year career with Cancer Support Community as Program Director and Chief Mission Officer.  She was a master trainer in Open to Options, a decision support intervention, and participated in the organization at a national level. Having recently retired, Margaret is enjoying daily walks, yoga, golf and the pleasure of no longer being on a schedule.  After she renews her LMFT license, she plans to learn Spanish and practice tai chi.  She is looking forward to where her next chapter will lead her.


Allison.K.Wyman, JD, MPA
Allison is an attorney who specializes in family caregiving, wills, trusts, estates, and healthcare. As a two-time cancer caregiver to her parents, Allison opened The Law Office of Allison K. Wyman because she understands the heaviness and confusion that accompany family caregiving, and she seeks to support families by providing legal explanations and tailored practical solutions. Allison holds a law degree from Georgetown University Law Center, and a Master of Public Administration from the Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs. In addition to law, Allison offers a monthly membership that helps caregivers begin their day in joy and end their day in peace, VIP days for families serious about preparing for caregiving, and a podcast, the Cozy Caregiver Café, available on Apple and Spotify!  Learn more about all these heart-centered offerings at cozycaregivercafe.com.